Revelers Celebrate As NYC Meets Ultimate Demise, Children Flee In Terror
posted by Douglas Cress at 11:36 PM
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Revelers Celebrate As NYC Meets Ultimate Demise, Children Flee In Terror
The Empire State Building in all its lackluster glory.
posted by Douglas Cress at 11:29 PM
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Monday, June 19, 2006
Breaking News: Best Party of the Millennium to Occur This Saturday
NEW YORK, NY, June 20/PRNewswire/ A birthday party being held for Douglas Cress is being hailed by many as the paramount celebration of our time.
Taking place the afternoon of Saturday, June 24th on the sands of Water Taxi Beach— amidst the splendor of some of the most beautiful scenery on the East Coast—the gala event will feature food, drinks, merriment, and good people having a great time.
"Although we're only six years into this millennium," said Douglas Cress, a local visionary and the party's host, "it will take at least another thousand years to beat this."
The guest list reads like who's who of leaders from the last century. Among others, Bill Clinton, Chairman Mao, and Osama Bin Laden (in hiding for over a decade) are expected.
When reached for comment Bill Clinton lamented, "I missed Doug's birthday party back in 2000 and I feel it may have cost me the Presidency. I'll certainly be in attendance this Saturday." He added, "And I want the ladies to know, I'll be going stag."
A luxury liner will leave from East 34th at 3:17PM ushering guests to the celebration (it is recommended that attendees arrive 15 minutes ahead of time. See the schedule for details). Libations, for those who come early, will be provided by Mr. Cress who has purchased hundreds of drink tickets. Guests are welcome to bring friends.
NY Water Taxi Website
Water Taxi Beach's Website
Taking place the afternoon of Saturday, June 24th on the sands of Water Taxi Beach— amidst the splendor of some of the most beautiful scenery on the East Coast—the gala event will feature food, drinks, merriment, and good people having a great time.
"Although we're only six years into this millennium," said Douglas Cress, a local visionary and the party's host, "it will take at least another thousand years to beat this."
The guest list reads like who's who of leaders from the last century. Among others, Bill Clinton, Chairman Mao, and Osama Bin Laden (in hiding for over a decade) are expected.
When reached for comment Bill Clinton lamented, "I missed Doug's birthday party back in 2000 and I feel it may have cost me the Presidency. I'll certainly be in attendance this Saturday." He added, "And I want the ladies to know, I'll be going stag."
A luxury liner will leave from East 34th at 3:17PM ushering guests to the celebration (it is recommended that attendees arrive 15 minutes ahead of time. See the schedule for details). Libations, for those who come early, will be provided by Mr. Cress who has purchased hundreds of drink tickets. Guests are welcome to bring friends.
NY Water Taxi Website
Water Taxi Beach's Website
posted by Douglas Cress at 8:33 PM
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